It’s been years since I’ve updated the Random Funny Corner, but I think this picture fits well.

Spring
A season of hope to a sea of runners
That maybe this will be the year
To lose those 10 pounds and look stunning in a bathing suit

Summer
A season of truth
When it will be revealed
How greatly we all have failed

5 more episodes of Alias…
If you love RPG’s, give Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion a serious try. It is one of the best games I’ve played thus far.

No, it’s not “failing in life,” it’s not never meeting Kristin (gotta love those double negatives huh?), it’s not dying early, but it’s those dreaded stairs. You got it, stairs, especially walking down them. Why you ask? This storied problem starts way back during the second semester of freshman year at Columbia. I was running down the stairs (two at a time) to print out some stuff before my Java final. But then, I missed one step, and rolled down a few more to the next landing. For a moment, I lay motionless on the ground, pondering how my feet betrayed me. My body signaled for a code red inflammatory response, and the pulsatile flow through my ankle seemed to resonate through my entire body. I limped towards the printer, then to my final. Afterwards, I took aspirin, slept the whole day, then bowled some of the best games of my life the next night with that sprained ankle.

But anyway, from that day on, I could never walk quickly down any stairs ever again, whether it be one at a time, or in twos. This problem, probably psychological in origin, has been a great hindrance. Everytime I’m about to walk down a flight of stairs, I hesistate, and painfully walk down slowly, one step at a time, because I know the restless New Yorkers behind me are quietly snickering about how slowly I’m walking. I try to quicken my pace, but my legs have forgotten how. I’ve tried practicing walking down the stairs, but maybe the practice hasn’t been rigorous enough, because it hasn’t resulted in any significant improvement. As others effortlessly race down the stairs, I glance in envy, and turn my attention back to the next step, until I make it down to the bottom. So friends, if you walk down stairs with me, don’t fear if I’m not right beside you, because I tread slowly.

In other news, I accidently kicked a squirrel the other day. As I was walking, my foot hit something, and when I looked down, I saw a scared squirrel on the sunny sidewalk silently scurrying from my silver shoes (haha, I just watched V for Vendetta). So basically, the squirrel ran into my foot. I don’t know why squirrels run away from us. If they only knew how much fear we would have for them if they started chasing people and running up their legs. Imagine… serpentine squirrels swarming streets scaring society… nevermind, I’m just spitting out s words now.

Lastly, from Eric Karabell’s blog on ESPN, “By the way, I just ran into Maria Sharapova right after my ESPNEWS segment today. Maria’s here in Bristol filming a SportsCenter commercial, dressed in her tennis outfit and walking her dog. And she said hi. True story. Naturally, her first question was whether she should trade Doug Davis for Magglio Ordonez. What, you thought she’d ask about dropping Jake Peavy? C’mon, she knows better.” Why are girls that do guy things hot, but guys that do girl things gay? Don’t take me the wrong way, I have no urge to get my nails done, or my hair curled, but I was just wondering out loud.